


Let Us Love You

by GreyHaven



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Getting Together, Multi, emotional angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 23:58:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13469364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyHaven/pseuds/GreyHaven
Summary: A blinding flash of white light, a roar of white noise, and the armoury - the new barn - was gone.  Duke stared at the empty space where it had been just seconds before, Nathan alongside him, Audrey beside Nathan, standing shoulder to shoulder as they had every time they fought the Troubles.Except...Replaces the canon ending - the events at the police station have happened but Nathan didn’t kill Duke, and Audrey didn’t have to leave, because fic handwavey stuff happened and they’re all alive and safe.





	Let Us Love You

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to [@YumeArashi](http://archiveofourown.org/users/yumearashi) for the original headcanon and for beta reading and [@DixieSiryn](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dixiesiryn) for motivation and moral support <3

**Duke**

A blinding flash of white light, a roar of white noise, and the armoury - _the new barn_ \- was gone.  Duke stared at the empty space where it had been just seconds before, Nathan alongside him, Audrey beside Nathan, standing shoulder to shoulder as they had every time they fought the Troubles.

Except...

Except now the air was filled with a hushed silence, disturbed only by the distant sound of waves crashing on the shore, the nearby twitter of birds in the trees.  A quiet _peace_ that none of them could quite remember hearing in Haven before.

So they took a moment, all of them, an unspoken need to just _breathe_.

Duke broke the silence first.  “Is it over?”  His voice seemed _tiny_.  Weak.  Even to his own ears.  He cleared his throat and tried again.  “Is it over?”  Better.  Maybe.

Not that any answer was forthcoming from Audrey or Nathan.  Not that the answer even _mattered_ , given the fact he wasn’t going to believe it anyway.  Not without _proof_.

It was stupid, really, he’d seen as well as sensed the aether leave him.  He’d felt the moment he was free of it, leaving him feeling lighter than he had done for years.  Forever maybe.  He _knew_ it was over.  He needed the proof anyway.

Blood dripped from a scrape on Nathan’s arm, red and fresh and - somehow _shocking_ , though it shouldn’t have been.  They’d all seen enough blood to last them a lifetime.

There was a shake in Duke’s hand as he reached out, ran his thumb across the blood.  Nathan’s blood.   _Troubled blood_.  He held his breath and stared at his thumb, waiting for it to be absorbed.  For the _rush._  For the _high_ to hit him.  But there was nothing, the blood stayed right there on his skin.  

He breathed again.

***

**Audrey**

Duke didn’t notice but Audrey did.

Nathan _winced_ when Duke touched the wound on his arm.  He visibly shuddered, then kept very still, a small smile on his lips.  Audrey reached out to take his hand.

And maybe she was doing it for _him_ , to offer him some familiarity in this new world where he could _feel_ , but maybe she was doing it for her as well.  She wanted to touch him.  Both of them.  To let them ground her in reality.  The reality that was now _hers_.

So she reached for Nathan’s hand.

Her fingers had barely brushed his skin when Duke’s voice broke the silence once again and she dropped her hand away.

“It’s over.”

There was a tiny waver in his voice.  Something that might have been _relief_ or it might have been the adrenaline that must still be coursing through him.  Through all of them.  It wasn’t enough that anyone would notice - not unless they knew him well.  

Like she did.  She _knew_ Duke.  Knew how good he was at hiding how he was feeling and that slight tremor as he spoke told her everything she needed to know.

It was really over.

***

**Nathan**

Sensation rushed through Nathan’s body, returning all at once.  An onslaught of feeling.  

He could feel _everything_.  The slight breeze on his face, the weight of his clothes on his body.  How tired he was.  Every ache in his muscles.  Every bruise and cut.  How damned _hungry_ he was.

Audrey’s fingers brushing against his own.  A touch that was so familiar.  So _normal_.

But more than that.  He felt a _rush_.  A physical reaction to his emotions.  Something that had been missing for _so long_.  

It was like being lighter than air.

He grinned as he turned towards Duke and confirmed what they all knew.  “It’s over.”

And it was Duke he reached for first.  Not Audrey.  That should have felt _wrong_ somehow, but he’d held her so many times, felt her every touch, whereas all of those hugs he’d given Duke over the past few months… He hadn’t felt any of them.  And he wanted to.

So he opened his arms to Duke, his head tilted to one side in a tacit question, uncertain of his welcome because every time he’d hugged Duke before, Duke had seemed...disbelieving.  As though he couldn’t quite understand _why_ Nathan would want to hug him.  As though he maybe didn’t feel he was worth hugging.

But maybe that was Nathan reading too much into things.

Duke gave him a quirked smile and a slight nod, and this time his expression was less disbelief and more ‘ _what are you waiting for?’_.

Nathan didn’t hesitate.

He closed the gap between them, moving quickly in his eagerness, almost _launching_ himself at Duke, and threw his arms around him, pushing Duke backwards a step with the force of his movement.  They might have crashed to the floor but Duke planted his feet and held them both steady, his arms holding Nathan up as he sagged, relief flooding through him and making his knees go weak.

It was over.

He could _feel_.

He could feel Duke against him, warm and solid and strong.  He could feel Duke _breathing_.  Didn’t even have to open his eyes to reassure himself that Duke was _here_ , he was _alive_ and he was safe.

They were all safe.

It was almost too much to take in.  After months - _years_ \- of worry and stress and fighting the Troubles, it was over.  After so long, he could _finally_ take a moment for himself.  Just a minute to be selfish and take what he needed.

In that moment, what he needed was Duke.  Duke who had come back.  Who had stayed when he should have run as far away from Haven as possible.  Who had _helped_ , no matter what it cost him.  Who had been by his side through everything, had his and Audrey’s back without being asked.  

Duke who was his friend.

Even after all the fights, all the punches, all the arrests.  Even after the tattoo.

Nathan felt sick thinking about it.

He didn’t deserve Duke’s friendship and he never wanted to let go of him.  What if Duke _ran_ again?  He held Duke tighter, clinging to him as though he was terrified that Duke would disappear if he loosened his grip.

Clinging to him as though he would drown without him.

Maybe he would.

***

**Audrey**

Audrey’s heart clenched as Nathan turned away from her and towards Duke instead.

It wasn’t that she _minded_.  She understood.  At least she thought she did.  The friendship that they had… It was deep.  Unshakeable.  They loved each other, in that unique way where they’d be fighting one minute and hugging the next.  She’d noticed it from the moment she’d first seen them together.  The way neither of them had any regard for the others personal space spoke of something much deeper than the love-hate relationship they pretended to have.  The easy way they moved around each other.  The casual touches, even though Nathan couldn’t feel them.

There was definitely more love than hate there.

Nathan wanting to go to Duke first made sense.  It was _right_.  He hadn’t felt Duke’s touch for a long time.

But…

But now he _could_ and where did that leave her?

Did that leave her anywhere?  She was the only person Nathan had felt in such a long time.  Now that he could feel everyone - _everything_ \- would he still want her?  Or had he just wanted to be with her because her touch was the only thing he’d been able to feel?

How much of their relationship had been about that?  How much of it was based on a lie?

How much of it was _real?_

She gave them a minute, watched as Nathan almost fell against Duke, as Duke held him up, as unwaveringly strong as ever.  Watched as Nathan _clung_ to him.  As Duke held him just as tightly.  She watched.

And wondered.

It was over and they were safe and _she was real_.  She was still here and she was real.  And maybe now wasn’t the time to be thinking about it but, after all the death and destruction of the Troubles, time still seemed like a luxury they didn't have.  If she’d learnt anything in her life (lives?), it was that time wasn’t something to be wasted.  Or love.  Love wasn’t something to be wasted either.  And that was something she had in abundance.

For both of them.

Her boys.  Clinging to each other.  And at some point they were going to have to have a conversation about this because she was damned if she was going to lose either of them.

But for now, hugs.

She cleared her throat.  “Room for a Parker in there?”

***

**Duke**

Duke let Nathan cling. At least, that's what he told himself. He wasn't clinging back. Definitely not.

Fuck it.

Yeah, no, he was clinging back, holding onto Nathan just as tightly as Nathan was holding onto him. He was clinging back because after the hell of the past couple years - of a lifetime, really, now that he came to think about it - it was finally _over_ and he could breathe again.

And he just really, _really,_ needed a fucking hug.

It felt good to admit that now, after so long of being strong and _fighting_.  Nathan and Audrey had both seen him at his total fucking worst and they _still_ hadn't given up on him. So maybe (just maybe) he could be vulnerable with them. Open and honest.

That was something to worry about later. For now, hugs.

"Room for a Parker in there?" Audrey’s voice broke through his thoughts and he smiled down at her as he released Nathan from his embrace.

Not that he moved far, Audrey had asked if there was space for her and that meant she wasn't asking them to stop, she was asking to be included and he was totally down with that.

He didn't, in actual fact, let go of Nathan, but there was still a soft noise from Nathan as he drew away. A sound which might have been disappointment - or perhaps that was just wishful thinking on Duke's part, maybe it was just a noise.

He moved just far enough that Audrey could squeeze her way in beside them, the third side of the triangle.  She threw one arm around Duke’s waist, the other around Nathan’s, and pressed herself against them both.

And there, right there, with both of them.  That was where Duke wanted to be.  

Where he could see them and feel them and reassure himself that it was all okay.  For the first time in his life, he thought he might be _safe_.  He held them tightly.  Audrey was soft against his side, Nathan steady against his other side.

None of them moved, only to breathe.

Duke glanced at Nathan.  He still seemed dazed, that tiny, soft, smile on his lips and he must have still been processing because his eyes weren’t focused on anything; as though he was just thinking and _feeling._

And maybe that was a pretty good plan right now.

Duke rested his chin on the top of Audrey’s head and tightened his grip around Nathan.

Closed his eyes.

Convinced himself - for the moment, anyway - that this could _last_.

***

**Nathan**

Nathan held them both tightly, relieved that he didn’t (at least for now) have to choose who to be close to.  The two people he loved most in the world were _right here_.  He wrapped his arms around them both in a vice like grip and rested his chin on the top of Audrey’s head, nuzzling into her hair.

His face was perilously close to Duke’s.

Close enough that he would only have to move an inch and their lips would meet.

It should’ve felt _weird_ but it didn’t and that was something he was absolutely not going to think about.  Yet.

There’d be time for that later.  Once the dust had settled and the wounds had healed.  The physical ones, anyway, the emotional ones would take more time.  Would leave scars on all of them.  

None of them had come through this unscathed but they had each other.  They could help one another heal.

As long as…

As long as Duke didn’t leave again.

Nathan couldn’t bear that thought.  The thought that he might wake up one day and find that Duke had left town in the middle of the night.  The same way he had done all those years ago.  Without even a goodbye.  Leaving nothing behind except Nathan’s broken heart.

He’d never told him.

There’d never been the right moment.

Even through everything, all the death and destruction, he hadn’t said anything.  He hadn’t once told Duke how he felt.  The words were on the tip of his tongue, the words to tell Duke that he loved him just as much as he loved Audrey.

He stayed quiet.

Tightened his grip.

Tightened it further when Duke spoke, scared of what he might be about to say.

“Ok so this might sound a bit weird, but if we’re going to cuddle for the rest of eternity - and I’m not saying that’s a bad plan - I vote for lying down while we’re doing it.”  There was just a hint of amusement in Duke’s voice, just enough that he could laugh it off as a joke if they didn’t respond in the way he was hoping for.

And that was so perfectly _Duke_ that Nathan laughed.  A surprised bark of laughter that had little to do with amusement and far more to do with relief that someone else had said what he’d been thinking.

“Lying down’d be good,” he said.

“And food,” Audrey piped up from beside him.  “And a _bath_.  A long, hot, soak and then cocoa by the fire.”

“Careful, Audrey, this is sounding suspiciously like a slumber party.  You’ll have us braiding each others hair and talking about our feelings next,” Duke still sounded amused but there was a hint of relief there, too.  Relief, presumably, because his suggestion hadn’t been shot down.

Audrey drew away from them so she could look at Duke, her eyebrow quirked in a sarcastic expression.  “Oh, I’m sorry, would you prefer beer and getting your ass kicked at poker again?”

“Could compromise.  Cocoa and I kick _both_ your asses at poker,” Nathan smiled wryly.

***

**Audrey**

The return of Duke’s snarking and Nathan’s dry humour was _refreshing_.  It was _normal_ and easy and it helped to ground her in reality.  There was a comfortable familiarity to it that belied the horrors they'd all been through and there was going to be plenty to deal with in the morning but tonight..?

Tonight was going to be about _them_.

The Troubles were over and the town could survive without them for one fucking night.  Tonight was going to be about processing and relaxing and starting the healing process and she knew they all had long journeys ahead of them so tonight was for _them_.

Audrey grinned and threw her elbow into Nathan’s ribs, her grin growing wider when he reacted to it.  “Sounds like a challenge, Wuornos.”

“When have you _ever_ kicked my ass at poker?”  Duke had his hand pressed against his chest in a gesture of mock-offence but he was grinning just as widely as she was, his eyes shining - perhaps the first smile she’d seen from him that genuinely touched his eyes.

Nathan grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘every damned time’, which Audrey knew full well was a lie considering the amount of times he’d stomped into the station and complained about how much money he’d lost to Duke in the previous night’s game.

“Lost cause, boys, you both know I’m the best,” Audrey linked arms with both of them before they could respond.  

Duke looked as though he might have a smart comment on the tip of his tongue but he wisely closed his mouth before it could escape and let himself be led towards where the Bronco was parked nearby.  On her other side, Nathan was just as quiet.  Lost in thought, perhaps, or soaking up the feeling of _everything_.

It had to be _a lot_.

It was a lot for all of them.

Nathan who was going to have to get used to feeling again.  Who was going to have to learn to live with the guilt she knew he carried - guilt over mistakes he’d made, people he couldn’t save.

Duke who’d lost so much.  He’d lost his boat - his _home_ \- his bar, everyone he was close to.  Except for them.  She’d worried, for a while, that he’d lost _himself_ , but he’d found his way back to them.  And maybe they’d be enough to carry him through, to help him work through his own guilt and to find a way to live with what she’d made him do.

And her.   _Audrey Parker_.  That’s who she was now.  She remembered all of them, all of the previous versions of herself - the good and the bad - and there was a little bit of all of them inside her.  Audrey Parker was _real_.  Audrey Parker had her own guilt to work through, had to find her place in life.  Her purpose had been solving the Troubles and without that…?

Without that, who was she?

That was something to worry about another day.  After a long, hot, soak, some food and either beer or cocoa by the fire.

She squeezed both of their arms a little tighter before she let go.  Nathan climbed into the Bronco, moving more stiffly than usual.  Audrey hopped into the passenger side, Duke following her closely and squeezing in beside her.  There wasn’t _quite_ enough space for all three of them side by side but none of them wanted to take their eyes off each other, still needing that reassurance that they were all _safe._

So she leaned against Duke, feeling his solid bulk beside her, and stretched her arm out to rest her hand on Nathan’s thigh.  They were both there beside her.

There were _safe._

_***_

**Duke**

Duke stared out of the windscreen as they drove, his jaw clenched, guilt rising like bile in his throat as he saw the full extent of what he’d done.

Haven had….even with the Troubles, Haven had been a pretty little town and ever since Mara had turned him into the Trouble bomb….well, now it was destroyed.  Wrecked.  So many lives lost.

All down to him.

If he hadn’t… If he’d been _stronger_.  If he hadn’t let her… It wouldn’t have happened if…

If.

He concentrated on his breathing.   _Breathe in for four - hold it for seven - breathe out for eight, repeat._  Deep, calming, breaths which helped him to control his thoughts and not spiral uncontrollably to the point where the only way he was escaping was to drown his thoughts with a bottle of whisky.  Although that looked like a pretty attractive proposition right now.

But then so did hugs and an evening approaching _normality_ with Nathan and Audrey so he tore his eyes away from the devastated town and focussed his attention on them instead.

Pressed tightly against him, Audrey was staring out of the window with a grim expression that softened each time she glanced at Nathan.  Her hand was still on Nathan’s thigh, as though she couldn’t bear to be out of contact with either of them for even a second and Duke had to wonder _what the fuck_ including him in that was all about.

Nothing.  It was about nothing.  Just being friendly, needing contact after the hell that they’d all survived.  

Who could blame her?

Nathan was concentrating, navigating the wreckage of the town, driving steadily along ruined streets and barely taking his eyes off the road.  

Except once.

Just once, he locked eyes with Duke, for a split second.  Those _piercing_ blue eyes that had always been able to see deep inside him.  Those piercing blue eyes that left him no room to hide.  They never had done.

Duke looked away.

***

**Nathan**

Audrey’s hand was warm - _hot_ \- through the denim of his jeans.  The steering wheel was cold in his hands and the seat was...had the seat _always_ been that lumpy?  He couldn’t even remember.

Not the time to worry about that.

As he drove, he was filled with memories and reminders of the people he _couldn’t help_.  The people he’d failed.  Some he’d grown up with, others he’d only got to know since the Troubles started but he knew all of their names.  Of course he did.  How could he not?  Their names, their _faces_ , were etched into his memory.

Names and faces he would never forget.

The streets were full of hazards.  Debris and potholes and fallen trees.  He drove slowly, carefully, only taking his eyes off the road once to look at Duke and reassure himself that he was _still there._

He was, and he was staring back, just for an instant before he dropped his gaze.  In that instant, Nathan could read him better than ever.  Guilt filled his expression.  Along with worry, relief, and a question.

_Will we get through this?_

Nathan frantically thought, trying to come up with an answer that didn’t sound like an answer.  Actually, trying to come up with _anything_ because if he didn’t say something, Duke was going to spiral inside himself and _hide_ and he couldn’t let him do that.

Words danced through his mind, just out of reach.  The wrong words, all of them.  Nothing seemed _right_ for this moment and he was absurdly grateful when his stomach rumbled loudly and spared him from coming up with something to say.

Audrey chuckled softly and Duke’s expression lightened into a small smile.

“Pancakes when we get back?”  He suggested.

“Blueberry?  We got the ingredients,” Nathan nodded as he spoke and tried to ignore the hollow, empty, _yawning_ feeling in his stomach.  It wasn’t a pleasant sensation (certainly not one he’d missed) but after so long with _nothing_ it was gratifying to realise he was _hungry_.

“I’ll make ‘em.  We’ve come through hell and I am _not_ dying of food poisoning because you two’ve decided to try cooking.”  Duke’s voice was full of laughter.

“Hey!”  Audrey sounded offended but Nathan didn’t think she was.  Not really.  Too relieved to hear Duke joking to take any real offence.  Besides, Duke probably had a point about that.

And just like that, the tension was gone again.

***

**Audrey**

Their laughter seemed a little too high, too forced, too _fake_ but it was _there_ and that was a whole lot better than the pinched faces and furrowed brows of a few minutes before.

The sight of Nathan’s little house, set back from the street, was a welcome relief for Audrey and no sooner had Nathan pulled on the parking brake than she was pushing at Duke, urging him out of the door so they could get inside.

Into the small house which had become _home_ after the apartment over the Gull had been destroyed.

Duke looked as though he might be thinking of making an excuse, some sort of bullshit line about having somewhere to be that they would all know was a lie, and she didn’t plan on giving him that opportunity so she grabbed his arm and frogmarched him inside, ignoring the indignant noises that he made by way of protest.  It was a half-hearted protest at any rate, but it was good to remind him that they wanted him to be there.  That he should _stay close._

Once inside, Nathan closed the door behind them and they breathed a collective sigh of relief.

It was over.

They were safe.

And none of them had the vaguest fucking clue what to say.

“ _Please_ tell me the power’s back on and I can at least have a hot shower,” Audrey said eventually.

Nathan clicked the lightswitch and smiled his little half smile when the light came on overhead.  “Guess that’s a yes.”

“Oh thank god,” Audrey sighed again, already pulling off her jacket and kicking off her boots before she made her way up the stairs.

She deposited her clothes on the bathroom floor, intending to move them to the laundry hamper once she was done but honestly…?  They could probably do with _burning_ rather than washing.  She’d lost track of how many days she’d been wearing them.  Too long, anyway.

The hot water cascaded over her, relaxing, soothing, and she let it wash the grime from her, carrying the Troubles away with it, and she thanked god (or somebody) that Nathan had an electric shower so she didn’t have to wait for a whole water tank to heat up.  And that he had an electric stove so Duke could follow through on that promise of pancakes.

It was tempting to stay there, to wallow in the comfort forever, but she worried that if she left Nathan and Duke alone together for too long they’d start snarking at each other and then Duke would _leave_ and that was really Not Good.

And she was _hungry._

Besides which, she didn’t really want to be apart from the boys for too long.  Her boys.  It had been close - too close - for all of them and if it hadn’t been for Croatoan’s (even now, she couldn’t think of him as ‘dad’) change of heart, things might have worked out very differently.

So she turned the water off, towelled dry, pulled on pyjamas and went back downstairs, still running a towel over her hair as she went.

***

**Duke**

Audrey looked _adorable_.  All soft and warm and snuggly and _what the fuck_ was wrong with him?  He thought he was _over this_.  Had been since Colorado when he knew there was no chance for anything between them.

But his heart gave a little leap when he saw her so apparently not.

Then again, his heart gave a little leap every time Nathan smiled at him too and that was _years_ in the past.  Years since he’d told himself to stop being so stupid because there was no way that Nathan could ever want him - Nathan was a cop, he was a criminal, how would that _ever_ have worked out.

And it was suddenly _too much_ , being in the same room as both of them - either of them, if he was being totally honest with himself - and he needed some space.  Some time to himself to get his thoughts together.

He cleared his throat.  “Mind if I grab a shower?”

Nathan nodded.  “Knock yourself out.  I’ll leave some clothes outside the bathroom door for you.”

“Thanks,” Duke was already halfway out of the room, wanting to _escape_ , even if it was just for five minutes.  Even just to Nathan’s bathroom.

Because he didn’t actually _want_ to be any further away from them than that.

Maybe he was done running.

Maybe.

After everything that had happened - everything he’d done - no matter how much he’d claimed he hadn’t wanted to help…. He couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ , leave their sides again.  No matter what.  Even if that meant his heart shattered into a million pieces every time he looked at them.

So five minutes later, he was back in the kitchen, dressed in Nathan’s clothes and wryly amused that Nathan had taken the time to fold them neatly before placing them in a pile just outside the bathroom door.

“Pancakes, then?”  He smiled and the smile felt more genuine on his lips than any he’d worn in recent years.  Perhaps forever.

***

**Nathan**

“Pancakes,” Nathan nodded and dragged his eyes away from the sight of Duke dressed in _his clothes_ which sparked such a possessive streak in him.  “Back in five.”

“I’ll get started,” Duke’s smile was more open than he’d seen from him in a long time.

Nathan smiled back and went upstairs.

The temptation was to linger and luxuriate in the shower, to feel the water washing over his body, but there were more important things that he wanted to feel.  Like the texture of pancakes in his mouth.  The feeling of food filling his stomach.

And maybe, _just maybe_ , see if Duke meant what he’d said about lying down and cuddling for the rest of eternity, because the feeling of both Duke and Audrey in his arms was something he _needed -_ more than he needed life itself.

So he hurried through his shower and back into the kitchen where Duke was already at the stove, making the promised pancakes, and Audrey had made coffee.  He took the proffered mug from her.

“You might want to…” she started to say.

“Give it a couple of minutes?”  He smiled and finished the sentence for her.

She smiled back.  “Sorry, old habits.”

“Gonna take all of us time to get used to normal again,” he set the mug to one side and opened his arms to her.

Audrey put her own mug down and folded herself into his embrace, fitting against him perfectly.  She smelled of shampoo and soap and her hair, still damp from her shower, tickled his nose.  Holding her was so _familiar_ but so _different_.

Because now he could feel her.

All of her, not just where their skin touched.  He could feel her soft curves beneath the fleece fabric of her pyjamas.  He could feel her breath against her neck.  He felt her sigh deeply and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

He squeezed her tightly, now safe in the knowledge that he wouldn’t squeeze her _too tightly,_ and whispered in her ear.  “Love you, Parker.”

She smiled against his neck and whispered back to him.  “Love you too.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Duke.  He’d been relaxed a moment ago, watching the pancakes, and now his attention was _too focussed_ on the pan and his back was ramrod straight and full of tension.  

Nathan gave Audrey another squeeze before he drew away from her.  She smiled and nodded in Duke’s direction, silently saying _‘he needs you’._

Well, Duke needed _someone_ , anyway.  

So Nathan went to him.  He placed his hand on Duke’s shoulder, resting lightly as he peered over at the cooking pancakes.

Duke relaxed under his touch and glanced over his shoulder, a small smile on his lips.

“Nearly ready,” he said and turned his attention back to cooking.

***

**Audrey**

She’d needed that from Nathan.  That hug.  Those words.  It reassured her that nothing had changed between them.

There was just one thing that was wrong...

The way Duke tensed when they hugged.  As though he felt _awkward_ and Duke never felt awkward about anything.  It was like…. It was like he thought he might be intruding and she just wanted to go to him and hug him and tell him that it wasn’t _like that_ , that they wanted him here, they both wanted him here and he wasn’t in the way.

Actually, most of all, she wanted to tell him that she loved him just as much as she loved Nathan.

But maybe now wasn’t the right time for that so she stepped back and let Nathan go to him.

Duke visibly relaxed under Nathan’s contact and that was a _relief_.  Even more so when he smiled and announced that the pancakes were nearly ready which gave Audrey her cue to start setting the table while Nathan pulled plates out of the cupboard and triumphantly brandished a bottle of real maple syrup.  Everything was reassuringly _normal._

They crowded around Nathan's small kitchen table, all jostling elbows and bashing knees and _oh god_ , it was too easy, the way the three of them fit together.  It felt _right_.  Complete.  As though Duke was the piece that had been missing from them.

Audrey could only hope she’d be able to find the words to say it.

Not yet, though.

She wasn’t ready to hear Duke say ‘no’.

***

**Nathan**

Knives and forks clinked against plates as they ate in hurried silence.  Nathan demolished his pancakes in a matter of minutes and leaned back in his chair, his hand pressed to his full stomach, and that was a feeling he wanted to _bask in._  That full, satiated feeling that only occurred after a good meal.  He wanted to hold onto it.

“Thanks Duke,” he smiled.

Duke swallowed the last mouthful of his food and nodded back at Nathan.  “Any time.”

He held Nathan’s gaze, meeting his eyes for longer than was really necessary, and it should have been _awkward_ but it wasn’t.  At least Nathan didn’t think it was.  Clearly Duke thought differently because he half laughed and dropped his eyes away to stare at the table instead.

His hand was resting on the table, stretched towards Nathan, and Nathan wanted nothing more than to reach out and take it, to feel Duke’s skin beneath his fingers, to learn every line and every rough callous.  

He reached out.

Slid his hand across the table.

Duke cleared his throat and pulled his hand back.  “I’d better get the washing up done.”

Nathan’s heart stung at the rejection and, for once, he was glad that he had something of a poker face because he really, _really,_ didn’t want Duke to be able to read that in him.  He should’ve known.  Should’ve known that Duke didn’t want anything to do with him.  He couldn’t even blame him.

He’d fucked up.

Big time.

Duke would never forgive him.

“You cooked.  I’ll wash up.”  It was all he could think to say.  To get things back to whatever passed as normal between them.  Some sort of friendship was the best he could hope for.

Nothing more.

But _god_ he wanted more.  He wanted to throw his arms around Duke as he had barely an hour ago and hold him tight and never let him go.

He wanted to kiss him.

He’d come so close, in those moments immediately after it was all over.

Now he wished he had.

“I’m already washing up, which you two would’ve noticed if you’d been able to take your eyes off each other,” Audrey said from over by the sink.

_Shit._

She’d noticed and she’d _said it._

At least she sounded amused and not _pissed off._  Not that there was any reason she should be pissed off, Nathan knew she loved Duke as much as he did and there’d been that one night... _afterwards_ … The conversation that neither of them had acted on.  They should have.  Maybe if they had, he wouldn’t be sitting here and worrying that Duke hated him.

He thought Duke would laugh it off, make a joke about it, something.  Anything.  But Duke just shifted awkwardly and caught Nathan’s eye for a second in a conspiratorial glance that just said _crap, she caught us._

It was just that, a glance, a brief meeting of their eyes before Duke's attention was back on Audrey.

She dried her hands and reached into the fridge, coming out with three bottles of beer which she set on the table.

"I'm voting for beer and someone," she glanced pointedly at Duke - "mentioned cuddling which sounds like a very good plan." The tension in her voice that told Nathan that she was worried about Duke's reaction just as much as he was.

"I'll get out of your way," Duke said quietly, already standing as if to leave.

Nathan stood as well.  He couldn’t let Duke leave.  Not after everything.  No way in _hell_ was he letting Duke walk out of here.  Not yet.  If he had to grab hold of Duke and cling to him until he stopped trying to leave, that’s what he was going to do.

Audrey beat him to it.

***

**Audrey**

“Where are you going to go, Duke?”  Audrey frowned at him.

He shrugged a reply and that _wasn’t an answer._  There wasn’t anywhere for him to go.   She knew that.  They all knew that.

Everything he’d told Mara - she shuddered at the thought of Mara - she knew all of that now.  Every last word.  There was no chance she was letting him go through anything like that again.  So until he had someplace safe to go, she was just going to have to do everything she could to persuade him to stay.

“Stay.”  Nathan’s voice was tense, almost strangled, as though he was choking the word out.

“I’ll find somewhere.”

Audrey couldn’t help it, she couldn’t stand seeing that _lost_ expression on Duke’s face, as though he didn’t feel like he _belonged_.

He did.

He belonged with them.

She stepped around the table and pressed herself against him, throwing her arms around him and leaning her head against his chest.  He momentarily tensed before he relaxed into her contact, just as he had with Nathan’s touch earlier, and Audrey breathed a sigh of relief.

“Stay,” she said and felt him nod his head.

“Ok,” he let out a shaky breath.

Good.  It was a start anyway.  Audrey drew back slightly, noticing that he immediately dropped his arms away from her and that was Less Good because he was clearly _uncertain_ and she needed to make sure he knew that he was welcome.  She stretched up and placed her hand on the back of his neck, pulled him down so she could kiss him on the forehead.

He closed his eyes and she smiled.  

“Couch.  Cuddles.  Now.”

***

**Duke**

_Oh god_.  He was lost.  Utterly lost.  Nathan had asked him to stay, Audrey had asked him to stay and he _didn’t belong here_.  He didn’t belong with them.  They had their own lives to get on with.  He was just...in the way.

He didn’t want to be.

They were in love, _a couple,_ there was no room for him here.

But they’d asked him.  They’d both asked him.  And he wasn’t going to let them down again.

Audrey’s lips were gentle against his forehead and he closed his eyes because that _soft affection_ was something she usually reserved for Nathan and all sorts of possibilities were racing through his mind and none of them were even remotely realistic and he was just…. _fooling himself._

“Couch.  Cuddles.  Now.”  Audrey’s voice was insistent, even though he’d just said _ok._

Yeah.  She knew.  She knew there was another excuse right on the tip of his tongue.

_Damn you, Audrey Parker._

She gave him as little room to hide as Nathan did and he was _in trouble_ here.  In severe and probably imminent danger of having his heart broken.  (Again.)

Nathan was already picking up the bottles of beer and going into the living room, clearly assuming that Duke and Audrey would follow.  It spoke of an easy trust between them.  Nathan trusted Audrey to _handle it._   

To handle him.

And he wasn’t _entirely sure_ he was comfortable that either of them thought that he needed _handling._

But for now he was going to roll with it. As much as he didn't think he belonged here, he didn't want to leave either.

Not if there was a _chance_.

***

**Nathan**

Audrey had done it. Where he'd _failed,_  where he'd just about managed to choke out a single word that had done _nothing_ , she'd gone to Duke and, with her usual _softness_ , persuaded him to stay.

Duke would do anything for her.

They followed him into the living room, just as he'd known they would, and he set the beer bottles down on the table before he dropped onto the couch with an audible groan.

“Did you actually just make an old man noise as you sat down?” Duke laughed, his eyes dancing as he imitated the sound Nathan had made.

“Shuddup,” Nathan couldn't help the eye roll. “You try suddenly being able to feel every injury you didn't know you had.”

“Fair,” Duke replied as he dropped onto the couch beside Nathan.

“I seem to remember several occasions where it was... _strongly suggested_ that you get medical help but you refused on the basis it 'didn’t hurt’ so you've only got yourself to blame,” Audrey pointed out, sitting on Nathan's other side.

Nathan narrowed his eyes and glowered at her.

“I mean, she does have a point, Nate.”

Duke was smirking and Nathan turned to glare in his direction instead.

“What? She _does_.” Duke was all mock innocence and Nathan couldn't help but to let out a soft laugh.

“Yeah, maybe.” Ok, definitely. He had made some pretty stupid decisions in that regard. Too many. And now he was paying the price for them.

A small price to pay, considering…everything. There were people far worse off. People who had lost their lives. People who had lost everything.

People like Duke.

“Shut up and c’mere,” Nathan growled and reached one arm to Duke and the other to Audrey.

Audrey nestled into his side, small and warm, curling herself against him and he dropped a kiss into her hair.

Duke... Duke surprised him. Nathan had been expecting him to be... reluctant. Hesitant. But he practically _threw_ himself at Nathan, leaning into him and grinning happily as he draped his arm across Nathan's stomach to reach for Audrey's hand, linking all three of them together.

The three of them.

***

**Audrey**

Duke reached for her hand and Audrey smiled as she tucked herself more tightly against Nathan's side.

The three of them.

She leaned her head on Nathan's chest and gripped Duke's hand to pull him closer. He resisted at first, silently saying that he was close enough, but then Nathan tightened his grip as well and Duke let out a soft sigh as he _yielded_ to them.

_Finally._

They were a tangle of arms and legs and warm bodies and soft breath and they fit together perfectly.

Nathan started to say something. He hadn't got further than the first syllable before he thought better of it and closed his mouth with an audible snap.

Audrey thought she might _know_ what he'd been about to say. Something like 'this is nice’. Something that they all would have agreed with but that meant nothing.

Whatever any of them said next, it had to _mean something_.

Because this…? This was _right_ and the only thing wrong was that Duke _didn't know that._

Oh, he was here and he'd surrendered to the cuddles but he didn't believe it; Audrey could feel that radiating from him. He was there but he was holding back. Protecting himself.

It broke her heart.

They'd so nearly lost him. And he didn't even know how they felt about him. He needed to know that, at least, even if it wasn't what he wanted to hear. Even if it made him walk out.

Better that he knew and hated them for it than he didn't know at all.

Audrey took a deep breath.

Glanced at Nathan.

Waited for his answering nod.

“Duke…” She started and he immediately tensed, drawing away from them.

“Audrey,” there was just an edge of snappishness in his voice.  Almost as though what he really wanted to say was _‘what now?’._   

“I - _we_ \- need to talk to you about something,” her tone was gentle, _placating._ The voice she used when she was dealing with Troubled people and that was _wrong._  She cleared her throat and tried again.  “Look, this is probably really shitty timing.  We’re all emotional and not in a good place for making decisions but I’m _scared_ ….Scared that if we _don’t_ talk about it now, we never will and I can’t let that happen.”

“So talk,” Duke shrugged and pulled away completely.  He was still sitting, though.

That was something.

He hadn’t left.  Yet.

Audrey looked to Nathan, silently pleading with him to help her.

There wasn’t much help forthcoming from him and she’d kind of anticipated that.  Nathan and words.  Why use ten words when one would do?  Still, he sat up and leaned his shoulder against Duke’s and at least he was _making contact._  He was trying.  

And Duke didn’t pull away from him.

He was listening.

***

**Duke**

Cuddles…

Cuddles were good.  Seeing as they’d both insisted he stay and join them for cuddling, he decided he might as well throw himself into it.  And then Audrey had dragged him closer and he let himself believe - _just for a minute -_ that maybe they really wanted him and it wasn’t just some pathetic ‘let’s all pity Duke’ party.

He let himself believe it until Audrey said his name and he _knew_.

He knew what she was going to say.  Something about boundaries and how they were all friends and they really enjoyed his company but now the Troubles were over they didn’t need him anymore.

Yeah, no, he didn’t need to hear that.

Definitely didn’t need to be cuddled up with them when she said the words.

So he pulled away, not quite able to bring himself to leave completely.

Audrey spoke again, something about shitty timing and emotional and being scared - words which said everything and nothing all at once - and he moved away even further.  

She fell quiet and then Nathan was leaning into him so whatever she was about to say was coming from Nathan too.

He closed himself off, walling off that _hopeful_ part of himself, and he waited.  He’d hear them out.  He could do that.  

“Duke, I know we've hurt you, more than you'll ever admit to. And I know that we need to do _so much_ to make it up to you... If you'll let us. I...don't know if you can ever forgive us, and I'm not even asking you to. It’s too early for that,” - Nathan was nodding along with Audrey's words, murmuring his agreement - “But…”

Duke snorted. If there was one thing he'd learned in life, it was that everything said before the 'but’ was bullshit.

Audrey ploughed on regardless. “You _fit_ with us, Duke. You belong with us. All three of us - together - we're stronger, and without you...it's like a piece is missing. We love you and we want you in our lives,” the words seemed to tumble from her lips, as though she had no control over them. Or maybe that she was trying to get them out before courage failed her.

Whatever he'd been expecting, _that wasn't it._ Duke's brain took a moment to catch up, replaying what she'd just said and trying to process.

Everything he'd been dreaming about for - honestly - _months_ now (longer if you counted the amount of time he'd spent wishing Nathan would notice him and wishing Nathan _wasn't a cop_ )... Every possibility he'd ever imagined was right there in front of him. All he had to do was reach out and take it.

Shit.

He'd been silent too long. They were both staring at him with expectant, hopeful, expressions. Nathan seemed to be holding his breath, his poker face long since forgotten, and he looked as though he might _shatter_ if Duke said 'no’. Audrey…

Audrey looked as vulnerable as he'd ever seen her. Her eyes were wide and she was chewing the corner of her lip. She might be hopeful but she was _worried._

They both were.

_They meant it._

*****

**Nathan**

Duke was nodding. Whether it was agreement or just absorbing what Audrey had said, Nathan didn't know.

He kept his shoulder pressed up against Duke's and he could feel the tension in Duke's muscles, could feel Duke start to pull away again.

He leaned in closer.

Stupid, really, that he thought maintaining the contact would do anything to make Duke stay because, as far as he knew, none of this meant _anything_ to Duke.  Not like it did to him.

Because to Nathan, it meant _everything_.

So he pressed against Duke and he _hoped_.

Eventually Duke spoke.

“There's nothing to forgive. Either of you. We all did what we had to, right? So if I have to forgive both of you then I have to forgive myself and I can't do that. I don't even want to think about forgiveness, I just want to move forwards and leave all this... shit… in the past.”

His voice was low and intense, his words more honest than Nathan had ever heard from him.

“What does moving forwards mean to _you,_ Duke?” Audrey asked, barely above a whisper, and she must have been as scared of the answer as Nathan was.

The corners of Duke's lips curved upwards into a smile. The smallest, shyest, smile that Nathan had ever seen. A far cry from his usual wide grin or self-satisfied smirk.

“With both of you. I don't know what you want, exactly, but I’m not going anywhere.”

Beside Nathan, Audrey's sigh of relief was audible.

Nathan grinned and launched himself at Duke, almost tackling him in his enthusiasm to just _be close._  Duke fell backwards onto the couch, laughing as he went, and they ended up in a tangle of arms and legs.

“You, Duke.  Want _you._ ”  Nathan mumbled against the soft skin of Duke’s neck.  

Duke’s arms were wrapped around him and he was all long and lean, sharp angles and muscles, and solid, living, warmth.

Nathan wriggled, not wanting to be out of contact with Duke, moving just enough that he wasn’t actually _lying on top of him._  Moving just enough to create a space for Audrey.

He reached out, took her hand, dragged her into the cuddle pile.

Both of them.  In his arms.

All of them.

Together.

***

**Audrey**

Audrey smiled and curled herself into the space, her head resting on Duke’s chest, both of their arms around her.

They felt like home.

Something she’d never had before.  Oh, she’d had places that she called home but they weren’t.  Not really.  Not like this.  Not that complete feeling of safety that being in their arms gave her.

She never wanted it to end.

“We want you, Duke,” she echoed what Nathan had said.  “Any way you’ll have us.  And if that’s friendship and beer and poker nights and you don’t want anything else, that’s fine.  But I… _we…_ want everything.  Going to bed together and waking up together and cooking together - ok, maybe not that last one, but _a life_ together.  Cuddling up and watching movies and Saturday nights out and Sunday afternoons in and arguing about whose turn it is to do the washing up.  All of it.  We want all of it.  With you.”

There was a shaky sigh from Duke as he let out the breath that Audrey hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

“I want all of that too,” he said quietly.  “I don’t know if I can make it work, I’m… I’m not _good_ at relationships, but I want to try.”

He sounded so vulnerable.  He was opening up to them, being _honest,_ laying himself bare for them to see.  He was _trying._

The way he always did for them, no matter what it cost him.

“We can make it work,” Audrey tucked herself in more tightly against him.  “ _We,_ Duke.  All of us.  We’re in this together and we can make it work.  Not planning on letting you go anywhere.”

Nathan’s arms tightened around them both.  “Been an idiot.  Leaving it so long.  Never letting you go again.”

“I meant what I said.  About not going anywhere,” Duke’s arms tightened as well, pulling them both close and burying his face in Audrey’s hair.

“Good,” Audrey said as she settled more deeply into them, drawing comfort from their arms around her, warm and familiar and _hope,_ bringing her a peace that she’d never known before.

The slow thud of their heartbeats, the rhythmic rise and fall of their chests, their _warmth,_ reassured her that they were real and solid and alive.

That they were safe.

No one’s phone was going to ring with a life or death situation.  They were here, they were together and they fit together in a way they never had until now.

She snuggled into Nathan, wriggling her shoulders against him as she nuzzled into Duke’s chest, wanting to be _closer._  Never wanting to let go.  

They must have wanted that too because no one moved until Nathan yawned and Duke chuckled.

“Sounds like someone’s ready for bed,” Audrey teased him gently.

Duke perked up, his usual smirk back on his face.  “Bed.  Bed is very definitely in my comfort zone.”

Nathan cuffed him on the shoulder, an affectionate gesture without the malice that might have been there even a few days ago.  “Not like that.  Not jumping into bed straight away.”

“Nope,” Audrey agreed.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think we all want...that, but we… Duke, we haven’t been very good to you and we’ve got a lot of making up to do.”

“Want to take you out, spend time with you.  Hold you close and show you how much we love you,” Nathan’s smile was small and shy and maybe he was expecting Duke to object to that.

“Let us love you, Duke,” Audrey said softly before he could say anything.

He opened his mouth to say something - an argument, perhaps, or a smart comment.  Whatever it was, he swallowed it with a slight nod and a smile.

“I’ll try.  I can’t make any promises but I’ll try.”


End file.
